oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
