I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
