You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
