i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
false alarm, still single
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
