So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
