What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
