i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
