I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
