I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
