I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
