I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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