Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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