i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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