I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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