Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize