am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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