I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
