Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
