To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
