No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
