my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
We are all done wearing pants today
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
