i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
