I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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