I like to think it a success when the cops are called
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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