I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
