Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
