He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Lo siento on account of my penis...
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
