alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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