That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
