I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
