Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
