I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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