It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
