She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
