Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
...so i touched it.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
