We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
