Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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