HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
