i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Still dying that you shit outside
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
