Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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