if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
