Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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