maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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