plz talk dirty to me
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
