i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
