At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
