We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
