thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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