we're blogging at a bar
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
