I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
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