when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
